An Unselfish and Sacrificial Love

Homily Easter 6 Year B

Today as we mark the secular Mother’s Day, we are given in our scripture readings an idea of what love is all about—what God is teaching and commanding us to do when he asks us to love God and love each other.

In our society today there is a fundamental misunderstanding about love. Love is entirely tied up in feelings. And when feelings change, love disappears.

This is definitely not the love we are taught about in John’s Gospel, or John’s letter.

Now we may wonder about being “commanded” to love. But in a sense what we are celebrating on this Mother’s Day is the kind of unconditional, and unceasing love which most mothers show for their children.

It is a love based on feelings, but also on duty, on care, on being tied together in a mutually dependent relationship which imprints on both mother and child.

It is that part of mothering which is like the love God has for humanity, and demonstrated in sending his son Jesus , and the Holy Spirit to be with us.

Sacrificial, unselfish love is the ideal for the Christian life.

This month is mental health month in Canada. I am taking a five part course put on by the local Canada Mental Health Association. It involves those who have experienced mental illness—as sufferers, as parents, as spouses, as children, telling their stories to help those in the caring professions learn more about mental illness.

What struck me about the stories was the sacrificial and unselfish love offered by many ordinary people in helping to love and care for people with life changing and life threatening mental illnesses.

Mental illness has long had a stigma in our society. But that stigma is starting to fade as many prominent Canadians acknowledge they or a family member have suffered from mental illness from Olympic gold medalist Clara Hughes to former Conservative cabinet minister Michael Wilson.

In your own circle you probably know people who are suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease, an illness affecting more and more people as the years go by.

When my Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I saw a dedicated volunteer worker for Children’s aid and longtime Altar Guild member at church, withdraw from all her activities in her mid-70’s.

In the early stages the once accomplished cook used purely food that could be reheated—usually bought at M&M’s. She sat beside the washing machine so she would know when a load was finished. Later she stopped going to church.

My Dad tried to care for her as long as he could, but she had to go into long term care, and died three years later.

She had always given us unconditional love, and I observed my father struggle to keep her in our family home. But they were both suffering and she needed more care.

Neither dad nor mum could understand why this terrible illness removed much of her life from her, just at a time when they had been enjoying retirement, travelling regularly to England, where my sister lived then.

It was hardest on dad as caregiver, I think he lost his faith after raising both my sister and I who where ordained in mid-life. And he helped us financially go to seminary!

What I am drawing from this experience is the model of love and care, which is offered to us by caregivers who are with a spouse with Alzheimer’s or some other mental illness.

We know from scientific research that mental illness is not a matter of personal weakness, but a combination of bio-chemical and genetic factors. Often difficult situations such as job loss or marriage breakdown can combine with these factors to cause such problems as depression, or bipolar disease.

The good news is through medication, therapy and love on the part of caregivers, there is hope. Even with Alzheimer’s there is a lot which can be done to make life better for both the sufferer and the caregiver.

It seems to me that as Christian communities we need to be conscious of God’s call to minister to each other in the midst of life’s challenges—including mental illness.

We are still battling the stigma. But self-help groups and better public education are letting people know they are not alone.

God loves us no matter what we are or what we do. We are not less in God’s eyes when we are weak, and struggling to make sense of our lives.

So in this Easter season, as we mark rebirth, and resurrection, and the spreading of the Holy Spirit, let us love others as God loves us, with that love that goes far beyond feelings, and to the very heart of what it means to be human and to share our humanity with others.